Although this take has become a little less hot in recent years, many people still look at divorce like a tragedy, especially when there are children involved. However, there’s overwhelming evidence both anecdotally and statistically that divorce can actually be a vast improvement for many family units, especially when staying together involves unhealthy relationships, communication styles and family dynamics. If you’re thinking about getting a divorce — or you’re already in the process of it — there are plenty of reasons why you should celebrate, not mourn. Here is why divorce is actually a pretty good choice for so many people.
Finding What You Truly Want
On a personal level, divorce is often about breaking free from the confines of a partnership that doesn’t fit you in order to find what you truly want. Whether that means staying single or finding a new relationship that suits you better, getting a divorce can bring you closer to finding a life that better suits your needs. Even though it might be hard to feel confident that you’ll find what you’re looking for right out of a divorce, it’s important to take your time and explore yourself. This can be a great opportunity to move on and be your most authentic self.
Allowing You Both to Move On
If you’re in a relationship where one party is hanging on — no matter who it is — while the other is moving on, it’s already long been time for a serious split. No matter what the situation is, you can’t hang onto something that’s already gone without falling into unhealthy habits. You don’t need to spend your precious time and energy chasing after someone, or dragging someone along who could be moving on themselves. Getting a divorce allows everyone to branch out, move on and focus on better things.
Single Parenting Is Better Than Modeling Unhealthy Relationships
This is one of the biggest concerns that many people have regarding parental divorce. The idea of staying together for the kids or faking it for the family has been around for years, but it’s quite unclear where that idea came from, especially by modern standards. If there’s one thing that plenty of people can agree on when it comes to kids, it’s that kids know things, even when you don’t tell them. Children are perceptive, and they pick up on all kinds of cues, including small tells that you aren’t actually happy or that you’re not treating each other the way you’d like to model a relationship for your kids while they grow.
The thing about getting a divorce is that you can still devote all of your love and care to your children — and ideally, so will your partner. Your child will be loved and supported regardless, but one thing you can’t undo is modeling unhealthy behavior and showing them that love requires one or both people to be unhappy. It’s much better to split and focus on your children fully.
You Can Focus On Yourself
Of course, as a parent, focusing on yourself can be extremely challenging. However, without having to deal with the ups and downs of a relationship or a marriage, you can focus on yourself and your parenting in an entirely new way. This is an opportunity to center yourself in your own life again, and that’s something worth celebrating.
You’ll Parent Better When You’re Happy
Although this might sound a bit simple, it’s definitely true. Not only does it speak to the point above that single parenting is better than modeling unhealthy relationships, but it also speaks to the practicality of the fact that people tend to do a better job at whatever they put their mind to when they go into it with a positive attitude. Without having to deal with a marriage that isn’t working, you can go into your parenting style with a much clearer and more level head than you might before. You can have more patience for your kids and make decisions that you truly believe in when you are happier with your life personally.
The Beauty of Divorce
All things that are worth doing have a period of difficulty. This includes moving towards a life and a relationship that works better for you and your family. That being said, getting a divorce might be a scary endeavor when you first start out, but there is something truly powerful and being able to figure out what you want and work towards it. Not only will you be happier personally, but you will likely create a much happier environment for your family and your kids. So, if you happen to be getting a divorce, don’t worry. It might just be for the best!